queen_teija

Officially lost my licence for six months effective.....????
Not answering on the grounds that I WILL incriminate myself.
Don't care. driving anyway. bad I know, but PT from Nazza is SO FUCKING HARD!! Like painfully so.

Soon I'll be good. Jay and I are looking for a rental in Burwood. I plan to sell my place by the end of the year and invest the difference for a while. It's a good plan. And it means I'll be closer to work and almost all my fiends - except Srah. Bloody cow moved to the bush. How dare she! It's so inconvenient for me. She really should have thought of me before she made a major plan to move. :p.


Oh I'm running for Victorian House of Reps in the State election on Nov 25.
So excited about that...um, no. I'm more excited about my haircut I'm having tomorrow.
I got roped into it. I don't care. I won't win. What's the point?
Well there is a point I suppose in so far as The Greens have a presence in the outer suburbs. And out Upper House guy has a fair go to get in. It is worth in for the long haul for the party, but for me personally, yeah I can't see it amounting to anything. If I get more than my Local Council percentage I'll be happy.

As it satnds I think there are only four candidates, so I'm a good chance to get above 10%. Shit, anything over 7% I'd be happy.

Current Mood: cheerful

I felt fine last night.
Today is the first day of the new TAFE term. I was kind of looking forward to it - sleep in, 36 hours of brinless TAFE crap.

BUT NO. I'm stuffed up and my head is pounding and becuase the guys at work have to be paid I have to come to work.

I'm doing the absolute minimum and decided that haneycombe chocolate is now medicinal.

Didn't go to the gym last night and sicne my head feel like a brick doubt I'll see them tonight eitehr.

Damn I REALLY want to go to the gym....Dec 10 is D Day and I plan to lose at least 10kg by then.

Kelly's back in town for a week. I miss her so much. Can't wait to see her.

In the meantime, work beckons....so sleepy.....

Current Mood: sick

I'm a dick. I posted this as a reply to another entry rather than an actual post..
Let's try again

**************************

So now for some up stuff.

Okay so August 24th Miss PIper Jae was born.
She's my niece and she is so adorable.
I am so NOT a baby person, but she's different, proabably becasue she's family.

I've only changed and fed her once and I was terrified the entire time that I'd break her, she has sucha wobbly head.

Right now she's very colic-y, so she cries all the time.
Brooke is going into hospital this week with her and hopefully the peadiatrician can sort her out.

I'll post some photos one day.

*******

On other news.
I lost my licnece coz I drive too fast too often. ost 12 demerit points. The last doozy was being busted doing 82km in a 50km zone. Good one idiot!
I got an automatic one month suspension for that, which I finished last week.
Now I'm just waiting for Vicroads to send the six month notice.

In the mean time, just last week i was driving home froma club at 6:30am and DAMN IT TO FUCKING HELL! I saw a HUGE flash as I went through a green light - not a red light camera, but a speed camera in the intersection.
Fuck, I am such a lead foot. What's the matter with me.

Hopefully I just imagined it (I know I didn't imagine it, and Jay was tehre to se it too). Think I scared Butters the way I freaked out, but damn it, it's not fair. Why do I ALWAYS get caught! Other peopel speed occassionaly but they never get caught as often as I do, it's just bad bad luck.

Wait and see what happens.....and see who's my best friend and will take the points ;)

I did one of these tests for work ages ago, it's actually supposed to be qwuite accurate

Here's my results?

Hey, I haven't posted here in over a year. I kinda deceided LJ wasn't for me, but hey, all the cool kids are doin' it, so why not.

Um, what has happened since I last posted? Hm...sicne it's been almost 2 years, well a lot.

Last time Brooke, my sister in law was pregnant. Fuck. Y'know how I said Oct 2004 was the worst month in my life - yeah, um, nup. Let's update that to May 2005.
May 2nd 2005, the day before my birthday, my nepwhew Jordan was born - and he died.
He was perfectly formed and up until birth perfectly healthy, but he went into foetal distress and stillborn - no reason, just one of those 'shit happens' things.

The Second of May is forever a horrible day for me - meet you at the bitter end....it's killing time on this fateful day. Yeah, I've already made that connection.

Maybe if I'd posted at the time I'd had written a lot more stuff, but it's over a year ago now and I'm kind of numb to it. Once again I feel guilty that i don't feel sad enough any more.
I tried to move my birthday from the 3rd to the 16th, but my family won't let me, plus the idea is pretty stupid.

I'm okay with it now, so there's no need for condolences or anything.
I have more stuff to catch up on, so I might post a few more entires through the day....
Some 'up' stuff too, it's not all doom and gloom.

I'm still not too keen on the whole idea of using this. I'm a little scared of people reading my personal thought. ranting and raving is all well and good, but you could easily lose your shit over something and then a week later realise you were completely wrong, or that you overreacted or whatever. But there it is, in black and white for all to see and you can't do a thing about it.

If you have private thoughts and they might hurt, maybe you should consider putting them in a private journal, like one in a book, with paper pages and use a pen....just a thought.

Sicne I last posted, and what a memorable post that was, I lost my beloved puppy Chip. He was 17 and I adored him. he smelt bad, he bit he pooped and pissed inappropriately and I loved him. I miss him so much, but at te same time I feel a level of relief that I don't have to deal with him anymore. When I feel like that I feel guilty....you shouldn't be this consumed by a fucking dog. 17 years is a long time though.

Brooke's dad died on November 3rd. Bob was like a second dad to me and as far as helping me, doing things for me and generally being 'dad' like, he was so much more a dad to me than dad. My dad, who I love, is more like a grandad...yet another good reason to not have kids after 35.

I can't be stuffed typing everything - it makes me cry and I'm tired. Suffice to say he died very suddelny. It sucks so much I can't explain and I still am having trouble getting my head around the concept that he's just not here anymore. But his death basically topped off what has been an evilly horrid month. I cannot think of a worst month in my life and that's including October 1988, which was a torture no 19 year old should have to go through.

Anyway, with Brooke being pregnant, Bob's death is so much harder. We're all so very sad/ We're getting on with things, but I'm feeling so empty. It's not just Bob and Chippie dying within five days, it's other stuff - the stuff that I don't think is appropriate to post here because PEOPLE CAN SEE IT.


I just have this sad that won't quit. I can't not be sad. I've tried and I can mask it for a few hours but it's always there. I'm going back onto Cipramil as soon as I get a new script. Of course me admitting that I am clinically depressed again will only be amunition for...........never mind. I have an illness, I've never pretended that I don't and I usually manage it pretty well. I mean it's not like I'm a lunatic. I don't get violent I've never hit anyone. Comparatively speaking I'm okay. And you know what, I'm allowed to be sad. Shit has been getting shittier and shittier and I have NO suppport. Everyone else has someone, I have nobody. I can't expect my family to support me when we're dealing with so much shit. My friends all have their own problems, or simply don't care, or don't care to care.

I'm off to my other job now. Two jobs, no time to do anything. Sometimes I honestly wonder what teh point is.

Current Mood: empty

Okay, I've been told this is addictive and since I want to rant and rave about so much stuff that nobody gives a shit about, i figured that this might be the place to vent my frustrations.

I have very little to say at this stge. This is mroe a test than anyting else.
I strongly doubt anyone will read this anyway, since I don't plan on telling anyone I'm here.